Shopping with a shopping hater
by bymak
Summary: Fun at the mall(?) ...


Disclaimer... I still don't own Sailor Moon.

I like clothes. Period. See, people that sees me thinks that a) I don't like my body or b) I don't like girl clothes and those two things are extremely wrong; you'll see I love my body; why shouldn't I? I mean I am a talk, slim, fitted, green eyed blonde. I like the size of my hips, waist and breast. I absolutely adore my abs, I mean… who wouldn't love their own six pack, geez! I love my legs that seem to go on forever, they are white and creamy and strong and muscular. I know, I know… it sounds like an ode to myself, which its kind off awesome, everybody should love themselves as much as I do.

Once you love yourself then you get the girl… or boy (Depending on your tastes) of your dreams. I know I got mine.

Anyways, on the b … I actually like girls clothes. My girl knows that… I own some skirts and shirts and tank tops and lot and lots of shoes. I just prefer comfy clothes and I'll let you know a secret… the thing that actually sent me to wear men's clothes is the fact that I can't find my way into liking to go shopping. For real! I absolutely hate going shopping.

I can't find a way to convince myself that walking around for hours to no end looking for the same shirt or skirt on twenty shades is actually productive. I can go shopping, I need a black skirt. Then I go and buy a black skirt. I just pick one, check the size and pay for it. Go home and if it fits great if it doesn't then either go back again to change it or find someone (namely Michiru) that will fit into it.

And now, I know someone up there hates me as much as I hate shopping, I'm stuck with a promise that I have to fulfill. I made the awful mistake of taking a bet; and I lost it. I'm never betting again on my brother actually passing an exam. Yes, he did study; he simply is lacking of connection on the neural department.

So the bet… I bet to my mom that if my brother passed she wouldn't complaint on my lack of skirts when we go visit them next week. And she told me that if he didn't pass; then I should expend my whole last check on girl clothes to wear while visiting.

Therefore, I'm now walking with my other half to a store to buy girl clothes.

"Good Afternoon, how may I help you?" an overly sweet vendor approaches us.

"We need some skirts and blouses and at least one dress" I say and she looks at Michi and I have to contain myself between laugh on her assumption or being jealous of the look.

"What size are you ma'am?" She ask, Michi blushes and I respond

"0 up to 3 depending on the branch… I guess" I say shrugging my shoulders; she looks at me then at Michi and goes…

"I don't think your girlfriend would fit on a 0. She is too curvaceous" Michi just denies with her head and I shoot up a eyebrow to the ceiling.

"Are you telling that my girl is fat?"

"No, by no means… I'm just saying that she is " the woman puts her hands at the breast level and makes a bigger boob sign and Michi just blushes and I … I'm going to save the woman.

"I am the size 0 to 3" I say, and of course she looks at me like I grow another head in seconds or something.

Yes, I know I can look manly but only if you aren't looking enough is not like I bind my breast or something. I just wear men's clothes because they are definitively more comfortable there's more room to move, they don't stick to you and you can sit without precautions.

I mean, I do wear the senshi suit and have you take a good look at that? I believe that I have moonlighted half of Tokyo population with the length of that skirt! I don't actually know how women can go around trying to keep their behinds covered with the length of the current fashion.

Ok, back to the vendor. I smile at her and do what I did when USagi and Mina found out I was a girl. Took my jacket out and undid the first couple of buttons and then she actually had the decency of blush and close her mouth. Michiru… well, she is used to this.

You had to see the look on the nurse when I went to the gynecologist and she thought that I wanted a... what was it? Urologist! What the hell would I do with an urologist? Anyways... Michi goes through this with ease now; before, well she got her some using to. We even had a deep talk about my dressing code and all that stuff.

"I'm sorry ma'am… you said skirts, blouses and a dress? This way please" and here we go. "This is the season advance; here you can find all that will be in fashion for this summer"

I just did a quick survey and all I can see is a sea of pink. Pink and turquoises or whatever that greenish shade is.

"Do you have anything not pink?" I ask and you know what? I have a feeling that I'll remember vividly why I hate to buy girls clothes.

"What about this one?" the vendor says passing me a pink shirt with a huge golden owl on it.

"I don't like pink, ma'am"

"But this is not pink, this is coral. This is THE season color"

"Ok… anything less pink?"

"What about this one?" she points to a pink sleeveless blouse with stuff in the neck.

"I don't like pink and I certainly don't like the bib thing that it has"

"Bib thing?" she ask and I point to it.

"You mean the frill? And this is not pink… this is baby pink. What do you think of salmon?"

"I'm not hungry" I answer. Honestly, what does salmon has to do with pink?

"I mean the color, not the fish"

"uh?" she grabs another pink shirt and shows it to me.

"Salmon"

Men! I have to have the most desperate look in my face because Michi just jumps out.

"Ma'am. What do you have in black, white, red, blue or brown?" See! Those are colors that I recognize! Go Michi!

"There's not much in the season advance, perhaps we can look the classics?"

"Classic sounds good" Michi says. Yes, of course she will say that. She is a classic musician. She winks at me and whispers "no pun intended" and we share a laugh.

Then out of nowhere I get handed like three thousand pieces of clothes. Seriously? Is she for real? Apparently she is, because a couple seconds after I am being forced to the changing rooms and how I absolutely hate this things. They aren't roomy I don't think whoever designed this torturing spaces actually gave a lot of thought to it being used by tall people.

After a couple of hits, mostly hands and knees and a couple toes to wall. I finally got into a black skirt and white shirt. Thank god I decided to wear a white bra! So I open the dressing thing door and my fashion consultant a.k.a my girlfriend is nowhere to being seen. So I put my shoes and yes I will need some shoes because men shoes and skirts are kind of a no-no even for a fashion walking mistake as I am.

I walk around the store looking for the acqua hair above the hangers and when I finally spot her I walk to her. So I pick a dress, it's a bright acqua and black and I say to her.

"What about this one? This will go with your hair" she smiles

"Excuse me, ma'am?" comes a voice from beside me. So I turn around and there's a older woman and she has a pink skirt on her hands. I smile politely to her and she goes "DO you have this skirt on cerulean?" I have to blink a couple times and then turn to Michi

"What the hell is cerulean? And why should I know that?" Somehow I think my outburst was somewhat not polite since Michiru smiles apologetically to the woman and says

"She doesn't work here. But I thought I saw some cerulean skirts hiding behind the light green ones"

The woman blushes then smiles apologizing then smiles brightly and walks away and I am like….

"What the hell was that?"

"You are wearing black skirt and white shirt; they are pretty similar to the store vendor's uniform."

"That explains that… so what do you think?"

"I think that you should go for a shorter skirt and maybe some leather".

"Leather! I like that"

"I saw some UdoKuro clothes around here" she says and apparently our vendor is back.

"UdoKuro? Yes, I can see her with those" she says and soon enough I am being dragged back to the dressing rooms with even more clothes than before.

"UdoKuro? Is like a tall, purple eyes, brown hair with some white spots on it and completely gay guy?"

"Yeah? "

"So that soon of a bitch actually did something of his fashion sense" I say

"Do you know him?"

"Yes, he was my classmate and best friend up until I moved to Tokyo"

"Are you Kate?"

"No, I'm Haruka if you must know" I say politely to the vendor. The nerve of this woman!

"No, I mean… did UdoKuro called you Kate?"

"Yeah… and I called him UdoKuro… his name is Udori Kurosawa, it was too long and too boring for him".

"Oh my god! So you are his muse?"

"I don't know ma'am… I haven't seen the guy in 5 years or so"

"No, no … I'm telling you, he told People's magazine that he was inspired by a friend that he used to call Kate and that she was a real tomboy."

"So I guess that's me… anyways, can we get back to clothes I really want to get out of here today if it's possible" I'm starting to get annoyed.

And that's when I spot five girls coming into the store. I guess they spotted MIchiru's hair. We hear five "Michiru's" and then they stop death on their steps and five "Haruka?" are heard. I nod and then I have the brightest idea ever!

"What are you doing here?" USagi asks, Sometimes I believe that if Usagi and my brother get together I will be a fun conversation to hear.

"Shopping" I say.

"Haruka lost a bet to her mom so we need girl clothes before the holidays" she says and I blush. Damn…she could have not told them it like that. It's kind of embarrassing. But my idea comes back to me.

"Girls, how do you feel if I buy one piece to each one of you? Whatever you like… I don't care the price" They all get a stunned look.

"For real?" Usagi asks I can see hearts dancing in her eyes; she is probably thinking of a hot date with Mamoru. I just nod and then she is dragging Rei and Ami around and I see Makoto and Mina disappear too. Michiru stares at me.

"You promised to buy yourself girl clothes with all that check" I smile at her and give her a quick kiss.

"Actually, I promised that I would buy girl clothes with all that check. I never said that I would buy them only for me" I smirk.

"You are impossible" she says laughing.

"I know… but I am actually buying stuff for me. I even picked a salmon blouse…. Speaking of which, what do you say about that fish place out in the 5th? I heard the salmon there is to die for?"

"So all that salmon, gave you cravings?"

"Yup, pretty much… now, how about that black and aqua dress that I showed to you?"

Well, yes… I still hate shopping but I guess doing shopping with the right people can be bearable. Oh... that skirt looks nice… maybe I can learn what the hell cerulean is…

"Ma'am, do you have this one on cerulean?"

"That one is cerulean" Ok, so cerulean is green. Geez, why just not call it green then?

"Oh… so do you have something not in cerulean then?"

"What about this one?"

"That's cerulean" I say firmly.

"No; ma'am . That's cerulean; this is turquoise"

"Ok... something less green then?" she picks another green skirt

"What about this one?"

"That's still too green"

"This is not green, it's lime!" oh geeez! It's not like lime isn't green either. Then I spot it in the green that I like.

"Never mind ma'am. I found the right green" I say picking the skirt

"No" she says… "That's not green. It's olive"

And I really, really don't know how I managed not to strangle the woman right there. So see, all that stuff that I said about shopping not being as bad…. Just scratched; I absolutely hate shopping.

But I don't mind paying at the end, especially with all the girls' happy smiles and that kiss from Michi… for that kiss I'll even buy that cerulean skirt… or was it turquoise? Screw this!

"Now, what do you say about salmon?"

"We have a nice collection of salmon articles"

"Ma'am"; with all due respect; if the salmon that you are referring too isn't grilled; then I don't care what you have"

We leave the store with lots of bags. I don't even know when I am going to use all this clothes. I'll probably be changing every half hour once at my parent's home.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= A week later

"Ruka, why don't you wear peach?" Ok, I just figured from whom my brother got that much air space on his head.

"Why would I wear peach mom?"

"Because it will look nice on you… I can see you on peach I guess it will bring your eyes out"

"Sure mom… whatever you say"

Michi looks at me and laughs; really who in their right mind would use peach as an outfit?

Anyways, after dinner we go up to my room and then Michi opens her suitcase and takes this hot looking lingerie and she smiles. What would she be thinking off… she trows the lingerie at me and I check the size. Ok so she actually brought this one for me. Interesting.

I take my night shower and make myself comfortable on that lingerie of hers and got out of the room…

"Yes, your mother was right"

"uh? In what?"

"You do look nice on peach" I look down again and I notice for the first time that what I am wearing has this orangey glow in it.

"So peach is orange?"

"oh, Haruka… you'll never get it"

And really if she doesn't care… what was I saying? Oh geez… good night brain... Haruka out!


End file.
